by S.A. Prince
There are a lot of single women. I mean, a lot of single women. You have to look no further than the multiplicity of dating websites and applications that have sprung up. We’ve gone from match.com to Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Badoo.
There are many reasons why women are single. Some just simply choose to be single. Others want to have the “Cinderella” experience. Some are hopeless romantics, in and out of flings, never finding a solid relationship to rest their heart at. It has become glaringly obvious that singlehood is a problem. For instance, within the black community over 70% of mothers are unwed, their children illegitimate. The traditional two parent family is quickly becoming extinct.
What we are seeing is a massive opting out by men. The majority of my friends earn somewhere in between 50k to 100k per year. They are college educated but single, hesitant to even enter into any relationships. It’s not that they don’t like women; they’re just not interested in commitment. I don’t think my group of friends is an isolated incident. Capable bachelors all across the nation are just saying “no.”
That’s perplexing considering that I believe there are more beautiful women now than ever before. Women are also able to express themselves and their sexuality in ways that women of previous generations had been unable too. Men should be chomping at the bits to be with single women, or should they?
Relationships have lost their glare. With the advent of social media, your potential mate is accessible at all times by potential seekers. Even if they do not indulge, the mere idea that they could indulge creates a natural skepticism. Along with that, social media makes readily available a person’s innermost thoughts, a privacy we were not previous privy to. Of course, a person still has to hit sent on their Tweet or Facebook status update, but how many people do you know can resist?
Social media has crossed a line, robbing us of much of the mystery behind relationships. If you want to know who somebody is, add them on Facebook and stalk their posts. Remember when you had to actually to court somebody in order to “know” them? Social media has ruined dating and getting to know somebody. The only thing you likely can’t learn from social media is how somebody is in bed. And well…if we’re honest, most people don’t have to wait long for that.
Moving on, the way men are put through the ringer during divorce does not encourage marriage. According to the Washington Post, The New York Times and Time Magazine, women are more likely than men to initiate divorce. Stanford University professor Michael Rosenfeld found that “women were the initiators of divorce 69 percent of the time, and both men and women agreed that it was women who wanted to call it quits.” (NY Times)
To be fair, Rosenfeld also goes on to say, “Research suggests that women still take a greater financial hit when a marriage dissolves. ‘A lot of women end up in poverty for the first time post-divorce.’” So yes, women do suffer as a result of divorce. Still, what man would want to get into a relationship and eventually marry, when nearly 70 percent of the time a woman initiates divorce?
I could write 20,000 more words addressing women’s singleness. There are numerous societal and economic indicators of this epidemic, but why continue? The very few points I made are deafening. In many cases for men, it’s just not worth the effort to get married; not when they could lose everything, and not when it’s so easy to get everything outside of marriage.
I’m not so naïve as to blame women for this. It’s the fault of society as a whole. As morals continue to deteriorate and personal boundaries disappear, the ideals and values that were once held in esteem change. Many women just aren’t going to experience the Disney Princess wedding they dream of, because we aren’t that kind of society anymore.