Script: NFL Thugs Are Domestic Terrorists Dividing the Country

by S.A. Prince

TV: AND ANTONIO BROWN CATCHES THE BALL AT THE 32-YARD-LINE. FIRST DOWN STEELERS…

MOM: JOHNNY…I HOPE YOU’RE NOT WATCHING THOSE THUGS THROW A BALL AROUND. WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SUPPORTING DOMESTIC TERRORISM?

15-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY DOESN’T RESPOND, CLEARLY ENJOYING THE GAME. AT THIS POINT WE ONLY SEE AND OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT OF HIM WATHING AT THE GAME. SINCE HE DOESN’T RESPOND, MOM WALKS IN ON HIM. SHE’S HORRIFIED AT WHAT SHE SEES.

MOM: HOW COULD YOU??! (SHE IS VISIBLY SHAKEN AND TURNING PALE, LIKE SHE JUST WALKED IN ON LITTLE JOHNNY BLOWING HIS LOAD)

HIS MOTHER IS NOW STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM. SHE LOOKS DOWW. WE NOW SEE WHAT’S GOT HER PANTIES IN A BUNCH. JOHNNY IS WEARING HIS PITTSBURGH STEELERS JERSEY. SHE THROW HER HANDS UP. JOHNNY DOESN’T NOTICE HER AND CONTINUES TO MINDLESSLY SNACK…CHEESE POWER ON HIS HANDS AND THE CORNERS OF HIS MOUTH. WHEN THE MOTHER RECOGNIZES SHE’S STILL BEING IGNORED, SHE STEPS IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION.

JOHNNY: WHAT THE HECK MOM! (HE SAYS WITH A MOUTH FULL OF SNACK FOOD)

MOM: WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR DAD AND WATCH NASCAR. THEY’RE TRUE PATRIOTS – WOULD NEVER DISRESPECT THE SOLDIERS OR THE ANTHEM.

JOHNNY: BUT MOM –

MOM: BUT NOTHING!

JOHNNY: BUT MOM ISN’T THE ANTHEM RACIST?! DOESN’T IT SAY, “NO REFUGE CAN SAVE THE HIRELING AND SLAVE- “

MOM: JOHNNY! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT LISTENING TO THOSE LIES? FRANCIS SCOTT KEY WAS A GREAT AND HONORABLE MAN, AND WE WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIS WORK IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

JOHNNY: OK MOM, BUT UNARMED BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING KILLED.

MOM: LOOK JOHNNY, IF A COP APPROACHES A THUG WHO STEALS A CANDY BAR, AND HE TELLS THE THUG TO TO0 PUT THE STOLEN CANDY DOWN, AND THE INGRATE DOESN’T LISTEN, THEN THE COP HAS EVERY RIGHT TO – (SHE MAKES A GUN WITH HE HAND…POINTS IT AT JOHNNY…AND GOES “POW.”)

JOHNNY LOOKS AT HIS MOTHER IN SHOCK

MOM: AND ANYWAYS JOHNNY, IF A THUG IS WILLING TO STEAL A CANDY BAR, HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE THEY’RE SELLING DRUGS, RAPING WOMEN, AND HURTING INNOCENT PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND ME.

JOHNNY: WAIT, SO IT IS OKAY IF A PERSON IS KILLED FOR EATING A CANDY BAR?

MOM: IT IS IF THEY’RE A THUG, JOHNNY.

JOHNNY: WELL MOM, I THINK BLACK PEOPLE MAY JUST BE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR RIGHTS.

MOM: NO, JOHNNY. NOBODY IS TAKING AWAY THE RIGHTS OF BLACK PEOPLE. SLAVERY ENDED OVER 100 YEARS AGO, AND I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHIG WRONG TO BLACK PEOPLE. THEY’RE THE ONES DIVIDING THE COUNTY. IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT HERE, THEN THEY CAN LEAVE.

JOHNNY: WELL MOM, I MEAN, DON’T YOU AND DAD FEEL LIKE THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN TRYING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO OWN ANY GUN YOU WANT?

MOM: NO, JOHNNY. THAT’S DIFFERENT. YOU’RE JUST A CHILD. YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.

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